


cause i know the sound of your heart

by pendules



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Morning After, Morning Cuddles, Morning Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 14:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6428518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendules/pseuds/pendules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You've always been, you know," Ronan assures him.</p><p>"What?" Adam asks, looking confused, almost apprehensive.</p><p>"Right here," he says, squeezing his hand even tighter to his chest. </p><p>"That's good to know, then," he says, ducking his head. "You can always find me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	cause i know the sound of your heart

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly just got mad at myself for [depriving them of cute morning-after cuddles](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6209008) and wrote this. I do what I want. (This is really disgusting. Fair warning.)

He wakes to the unmistakeable press of a warm body along his own. When he blinks open his eyes, his entire world is reduced to the spill of soft, dusty hair on his chest, lean shoulders sprinkled with constellations of freckles, the delicate curve of a tanned back, an elbow uncomfortably lodged in his ribs, an arm haphazardly wrapped around his waist, a firm hip against his thigh, a leg thrown between his own, one foot resting against his calf, the constant rise and fall of his chest above him, the quiet, lovely sound of his breathing as he sleeps wrapped around him.

He's so alive and so beautiful, it makes his heart hurt for a moment.

And then last night comes back, in bits and pieces at first, and then all at once, and he can't contain the smile that touches his lips or the flutter that replaces the ache.

He fell asleep halfway on top of him, he realises. It could've just been from exhaustion, but it feels more deliberate than that. Like he's asserting his presence or trying to anchor him into his body. So he'll know it's real. Ronan does, though; it _has_ to be real. Maybe he's just making sure he doesn't steal away in the night out of fear or restlessness. It strikes him as dangerous, suddenly, his proximity. Anything he manifests would be sure to hurt Adam as easily as it would hurt him. It almost breaks his heart, his trust, letting him sleep next to his bed night after night; coming into his room the night before, putting his hand on his face, looking at him without any fear, open and vulnerable, like he was seeing under all his defenses, seeing _him_ ; kissing him, tenderly and sweetly, like he was worthy of that, like he was more than just some sharp thing only capable of inflicting pain and spilling blood.

He's awake now, though, and as long as Adam's asleep, he's not moving.

He closes his eyes, absorbing his body heat and listening to him breathe, the rest of the world suddenly absolutely still and quiet around them, time feeling stretched-out and languid.

He's not counting but it's about twenty minutes later when he feels hair tickle his skin as Adam slowly stirs in his arms and then raises his head to meet Ronan's eyes.

He still looks tired but _content_ , too, bright and warm and _safe_. It's better than a thousand dreams.

"Hey," he says, voice slightly hoarse.

"Hey," Ronan replies, only barely suppressing a huge grin, one hand splayed gently on the small of his back.

"So… _that_ happened," Adam says, eyes wider and more alert now. 

"Yeah."

Adam lowers his gaze, like he's considering something, and then shifts over slightly, adjusting his arm so it's no longer digging into his side, not farther away but _closer_ still, until his cheek's pressed flush against Ronan's chest, his palm resting right next to his face. Ronan loosely curls his hand into the silky strands of his hair and wonders if he's gone back to sleep, but then Adam speaks again.

"Is _this_ what it's like?" he asks quietly, exhaling against his skin, fingers trailing over his ribs like he's just as amazed by Ronan's body under his hands, being this close to him.

"What?" he says distractedly.

"Dreaming something you really want into reality," he says evenly.

"God, don't _say_ shit like that." He cringes, knowing he's probably turning beetroot red, suddenly grateful that Adam can't see his face. 

Adam laughs softly but he feels the vibration all the way through his body. _God_ , he wishes they could stay like this forever. "If I can't say it now, then _when_ can I?" It sounds like the most logical thing in the world coming from him.

Ronan shrugs noncommittally. Adam can probably feel that too. Can probably feel everything: the frenetic rhythm of his heart, the nervous energy humming under his skin, the pure warmth and contentment flooding his veins. It's almost a relief, though, that there's not even a remote chance of hiding it anymore. That it's all out there in the open now, no words required.

But he _wants_ to say it, too, wants to tell him everything, even if he doesn't know where to start, even if he can't quite get his tongue around it. 

"We're going to be _them_ , aren't we?" he says, a dawning realisation.

"Who?"

" _That_ couple."

"Yeah, probably," Adam agrees. He doesn't sound displeased by the notion, though.

"Is that — Is that what you want?"

"Yeah, I _do_ ," Adam says firmly, like he knows he needs him to say it. He remembers his low, breathy voice and his blown pupils when he'd said _I want you_ the first time, punctuated by hands on bare skin and his mouth sucking a bruise into his neck. "Is that what _you_ want?"

"Yeah, of course I do. I — I want everything I said I wanted," he says, knowing it sounds weak, his throat feeling raw and constricted.

"You meant it, didn't you?" Adam asks, after a beat.

"Meant what?"

"What you said — Last night, I mean. That _thing_ you said." Adam's face is hot against his skin now and he's deliberately not looking at him. They both know exactly what he means. There was no mistaking it, that part, for something uttered in the heat of the moment. It was too deliberate, too real, he knows. He needed him to _know_ it, then, almost desperately.

"Yeah, I meant it."

"I meant it too, you know."

"What?"

"I really want this — want _you_."

"I think the marks on my neck can attest to that," Ronan teases.

Adam lifts his head just to roll his eyes at him.

"I thought —" he says, dropping it to his chest again like he can't look at him and say the rest. Ronan feels as he swallows, lets out a breath. "I thought for a second maybe it _was_ a dream. I'm not as good as you at telling the difference."

"You thought Cabeswater was fucking with you?" he asks, cautiously.

"I don't know, maybe."

"You kissed me first," Ronan reminds him. _Cabeswater's not the boss of you._ Ronan knows what it's like to feel out of control, helpless to forces you can't begin to understand but that feel like a part of you. Betrayed by your own thoughts and doubts and dark desires.

"Yeah, but I didn't _plan_ it."

"I _knew_ it couldn't be a dream," Ronan admits.

"Why?" Adam asks, raising his eyes to his face again, curious.

"You never kiss me in my dreams. I always wake up right before you do. Like you're always just out of reach."

"I'm right here," Adam promises, hand stopping right over his heart. It's beating steadily now. 

He reaches down and guides Adam's hand up to his mouth, presses his lips to the centre of his palm before tangling their fingers together.

"I know. You're not going anywhere." It almost sounds like he's trying to convince himself.

"I don't want to," Adam tells him with a sigh. "I just — I want to stay. _Here_." He doesn't know if he means _here_ , with him, with all of them, Monmouth and Fox Way and Nino's and the ley line pulsing under the ground and in his veins; _here_ , in Ronan's room, like a sanctuary, a temple of dreams; _here_ , in his bed, hyperaware of every movement and every breath and every inch of skin; _here_ , in his own body, right where Ronan's heart is beating under both of their intertwined hands, tethering him to reality.

"You've always been, you know," Ronan assures him.

"What?" Adam asks, looking confused, almost apprehensive.

"Right here," he says, squeezing his hand even tighter to his chest. 

"That's good to know, then," he says, ducking his head. "You can always find me."

Ronan doesn't say he doesn't need it, doesn't need him for that, doesn't need anyone else. He's strong enough on his own; he's always been. Cabeswater's not done with him, it's going to test him, but he'll survive. He won't give up one piece of himself even when the world is intent on taking him apart.

"Hey," he says instead, brushing his thumb over the back of his neck, urging him to look at him. "Come here."

Adam doesn't resist. He just slowly slides up his body until he can meet his gaze properly. 

There's uncertainty clouding his eyes now, though, and Ronan doesn't ever want him to feel anything but brave and sure and unafraid.

He pulls him down into a kiss, fierce and electric, that sends a shiver down his spine, that renders them both breathless.

"Do you even _know_ how fucking amazing you are?" he says, awestruck, tracing his fingertips over his cheekbones.

"Well, I could stand to hear it some more," he says, smirking, curling his foot around Ronan's ankle.

"I just — I can't believe —"

"What?"

"That you want to be with me," he says, earnestly.

"Obviously, I'm just in it for the sex," Adam deadpans.

He looks at him for a long moment, though, until his expression softens and he leans down again and presses a kiss right over Ronan's heart, reverent and fond, and he doesn't know what on earth he did to deserve this wondrous boy.

Ronan gasps as all the air seems to leave his lungs. All he can do is hold him tighter against his body.

"Thanks," Adam says quietly, looking back up at him.

"For what?" he says, mouth going dry.

"For wanting me."

He wants to say, _You don't have to thank me for that, or for anything, ever._ But he just kisses his mouth again, a feather-light brush of lips.

"You know, if I knew you were into this romantic shit, I would've —"

"What?" Adam says, kissing his chin.

"I don't know," he says, between kisses. "Bought you flowers. Wrote you a fucking poem. Shown up outside your window with a fucking boom box."

"You can still do that stuff, you know," he says, amused. "But you don't need to."

"What should I do, then?"

"Just — _stay_ ," he says, simply. "Just keep looking at me like that. Just _be_ here with me."

"I'm not going anywhere either. As long as you want me."

"I'm always going to want you," he says, eyes dark, voice low.

"God, you're _disgusting_ , I love you," he murmurs against his mouth, without meaning to. It's like a goddamn disease: after the first time, it was like the floodgates had opened and he couldn't stop thinking it; he wanted to keep saying it over and over until he ran out of breath.

"You're just saying that to get into my pants," Adam replies, smiling into the kiss.

"Is it working?"

"Yeah, _absolutely_."

They kiss for a while, gradually getting more heated and intense, until Adam grinds down on him and he moans into his mouth. Just as he's about to pull away and say, "Are you sure you want to —", the alarm on Adam's watch goes off. He makes a noise of frustration against Ronan's neck.

He slowly sits back against the headboard, but Adam doesn't climb off of him, just moves over until he's straddling his hips, looking like he's perfectly content right there, back on the same eye-level.

Ronan sighs, settling his arms around his waist, kissing his cheek. "I wish we didn't have to leave this room."

Adam laughs. "I think Gansey might get worried."

" _God_ , speaking of — What are we gonna tell him?"

Adam looks strangely nervous. "I don't know," he says, shrugging. "The truth, I guess."

"Or I could just grope you in front of him and he'd probably get the idea."

"Shut up. We probably need to make a rule about touching in public, actually," he says, contemplatively.

"Hey, _you_ started it."

"The rule is for _both_ of us," Adam clarifies.

"That probably shouldn't be as hot as it is," Ronan muses.

"Same goes for you," Adam counters.

" _Ouch_. Backhanded compliment much?"

Adam grins at him. "You're such a dork."

"You _love_ me."

He pretends to consider it for a moment and then nods, just barely. 

Ronan smirks at him. Adam hits him on the shoulder.

"Shut up," he says, blushing, averting his eyes. 

"Didn't say anything, Parrish," he says, giving him his most innocent look.

"Your _face_ is saying enough."

"It's not my fault that you're a huge sap," Ronan says, apologetically.

"So are _you_ ," Adam points out.

"Guilty," Ronan says, a slow, content smile playing over his lips.

Adam leans in to kiss him one more time, soft and brief, and then lets out a long breath when he pulls away to meet his gaze.

"We're going to be okay, right?" Adam says, after a moment, hands gently clutching his shoulders, eyes concerned and serious now.

He nods at him. "Yeah, we're going to be fine," Ronan tells him quietly. He hopes with everything he has that he can keep that promise.

**Author's Note:**

> [come yell at me on tumblr](http://bloodravenking.tumblr.com) | [reblog if you liked it!](http://bloodravenking.tumblr.com/post/142121286124/cause-i-know-the-sound-of-your-heart-pendules)


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